Season 1 Episode 2
Source: The Rocking Dads Revolution
For so many people having a baby, the ability to just let go and let your body work seems to have been blurred a bit. As a Doula and Childbirth Educator in San Antonio, I believe clear talk of the history of our ancestors births and modern birth need to be discussed. Then a nice marriage of the two make sense. This can really improve the ability to “let go” or just say yes to birth. Often times this can help a family in labor work a little differently even when in a hospital setting. Understanding why hospitals have their policies and how to navigate them without aggressive language and emotion creates a Win Win situation. For people who want the best shot at a natural birth, they often pick a birth center or home birth. This goal does not go without work or understanding of that process either, but let’s discuss that in another blog. I want to dive into the paradigm shift of the hospital and offer some tips to help you just let go.
First of all clear communication with your care provider is a must. If you are choosing a professional you should interview them. Talk to your Doctor, Midwife, or nurse about your goals so they can align with you. It is so important! You need to have someone that is really on board to help you achieve your desired birth (or as close as possible to it). Same goes for the hospital you choose. Know the policies they have in place.
Many expecting parents arrive at the hospital not knowing they will get an I.V., be monitored, be asked to lay down, have a blood pressure cuff on, and other things that may be normal protocol to the hospital. This can possibly give the feeling of not being in control or even being sick. That alone can increase adrenaline and other corticosteroids that will slow down birth. Imagine what is going through a birthing couples mind if they know nothing about the process. It’s no wonder that so many people dramatically slow down the birthing process just because of fear. Like anything new or uncharted it takes courage and strength to push through a rite of passage. Becoming a mother and father takes strength but will inevitably happen no matter what if you are having a baby.
Getting information and taking childbirth education classes is a must. I suggest visualizations to my clients to strengthen their ability to stay calm and see the outcome they desire. This is also a great way to bond with your partner and share the same experience in your own ways. You really get to connect. By letting go you must surrender to birth and the entire process. Labor and birth is really out of your hands but definitely controlled by nature (unless of course you have interventions). By not clock watching and benchmarking against other births and just “going” with it, it usually makes the experience less stressful. Less stress will give you a better outcome.
My advice to you all is to accept the fact that birth happens and each birth is unique.
Please call me if I can help your journey through pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. 210-683-0318
#doula #childbirth #birthguy
My hindsight is definitely 20/20, but my foresight nailed it! I have never felt more clear about the fact that I was called to be a Doula/lactation counselor/birth mentor after my last birth.
Let me back up and share the story of my clients James and Melissa. For about a month I had been receiving calls from my good friend who is also a childbirth educator and post partum depression specialist, family counselor Maria Zeitz. She is not only amazing, she understands the value of team work. She told me about an extraordinary couple that she had been working with, James and Melissa. She expressed to me that they may need some of my expertise. She connected James with my Rocking Dads™ class. For those of you that don’t know of it, Rocking Dads™ is a group class of about 30 expecting new dads and I work with them for about 4 hours. I walked out to the hall and I saw a couple with canes for the blind walking as they embraced each other heading towards my classroom. I quickly came up and introduced myself (I have chills right now reliving the moment). It took me back to my childhood. I volunteered at the Braille Institute of Santa Barbara while I was in high school. My father’s mother, my grandmother was blind. I was excited to have James in my class. The other men in the class really found strengh in James’s attitude and confidence that was so humble and loving. He was so committed and excited to meet his baby and be the best partner he could be. I was amazed. It was that day that we knew we would work together, I was honered to be chosen as their Dudela!
We quickly did a couples class privately together so they would understand my method Facilitating Fearless Birth™.
Within a couple of days we were at the hospital and the beautiful Lilah was earth side! Now I am NOT going to tell their birth story, but I can say that it was an all time high in my life, personally and professionally. I can say that they were both amazing and with a little help that baby latched like a champ. The value of skin to skin was taken to a new level.
Watching James and Melissa get to know their baby reinforced my belief that using all of your senses really can be forgotten by those of us who have sight. Almost 7 million Americans are known to be blind, that does not stop life, love, and joy. Watching the them both touch, kiss, and fall in love with Lilah was such an honor. I am humbled to the power of love and joy (damn it I’m crying now and I can’t see the screen, hold on).
Ok I’m back and I can see what I am writing now.My point of sharing this with you is that when a baby enters the world it is a powerful experience that regardless of a lack of sight or other obstacles, love always beats them. I can not thank them enough for choosing me and trusting me to help them with their journey. I am blessed and grateful.
I would also like to thank Dr. Margaret Kelly and Dr. Harmon Kelly for the respect and care they provided this lovely couple.
Tips for getting to know your baby using your available senses:
Feel your baby’s skin on yours and acknowledge your proximity
Pay note to your baby’s breathing and your breathing
Smell your baby
Kiss your baby
Look at your baby
If I can help with anything, give me a call, Doula in San Antonio! 210-683-0318
Something really hit home this weekend when I was mentoring a group of fathers. It was like suddenly I really saw the wall men have to climb or breakdown. I give out evaluations at the end of every class or mentor session. They always come back with great suggestions and wonderful points of view. But this weekend, there was like a golden sunrise that commands attention. It simply said that the biggest take away from Rocking Dads was “knowing that a new father plays 50% of the role in pregnancy, parenting, and breastfeeding”.
You see in our society, genders have blurred a bit. Both men and women work in most households and share cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other household necessities. For the longest time pregnancy and birth as well as breastfeeding have been mother focused. That time is over whether we like it or not. And just for the record, I love it!
More more I see fathers and mothers coming together both open and ready to receive information about starting a family, birth, pregnancy, and breastfeeding. This my dear friends is totally awesome!
My mission is to call out to all men who are about to become fathers and encourage them to embrace it. I want to see them step up and assume the role they should have. That role is to be the 50% partner in pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding. Let’s not forget parenting. In my classes I offer so many different ways for men to take this role on in a natural and exciting way. Not to mention that there are so many men as of late who are taking this role very seriously. These are the men that can peer support and also mentor their brothers.
Men can support their female counterpart much better than a woman who is a third-party birth worker. Most of the third-party birth workers that are women who I associate with are more excited to train and help the male counterpart learn to assume this role. The person your wife or partner will listen to and turn to most is you. But you have to be present and mindful in order to productively help her. This makes your relationship stronger than it ever has been. If you need help with this, I can definitely help. If you have deeper needs to mend your relationship prior to arrival of your baby, call my friends Baby Proofed Parents in Austin. They are two amazing women who have been counselors for 17 years and specialize in helping you and your partner be the best you can be for your new baby.
I hope this helps! If you need anything, call me at 210–683–0318.
For more information on Rocking Dads, or any of my services, just give me a call.
It’s no surprise to me that he is known as “Sunshine” to the staff at the labor and delivery, he is exactly that. I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Schorlemer a few years back. I was so drawn to his great smile and warm personality that it was no doubt we were meant to be friends. Rob is the kind of person who can tell a story and you definitely want to hear another. My all time favorite is the story of his birth. He was a home birth and at the time the doctor would make a house call and deliver for $35! His mother was ready and called the doctor to come and help. They lived on a farm in Yorktown, Texas. His mother had the $35 under her pillow. As she pushed she delivered a beautiful baby boy. Wait a minute…there was another one to follow! She had to write and IOU for the other $35! I just love it. I’m pretty sure I am close on that story. None-the-less I am never bored talking to him. The level of care and the attention he gives his clients is second to none. Dr. Schorlemer is so sensitive to the fact that a cesarean section delivery takes a different strength that he often has the woman push to contribute to that work. I can go on and on but I really hope you get to know him too! Here is his official Bio!
Dr. Robert Schorlemer is Board Certified by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and has been in private practice since 1971. Dr. Schorlemer completed his undergraduate studies at the University of Texas at Austin and Texas Lutheran College. He received his medical degree from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School, and completed his residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio.
Dr. Schorlemer is a clinical professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio. He has held numerous leadership positions in the field of Obstetrics and Gynecology, including Chief of Staff of the OB/GYN Department at Southwest Methodist Hospital in 1990 and 1991, the Texas Association of Obstetrics and Gynecology Society. He served as Chair of the Texas Section of the American College of Gynecology and on the faculty of the Texas Health Science Center.
You can find his website at Women’s Health Consultants!